Great leaders are always looking to improve, but getting feedback that can really make a difference in your personal growth can often be a challenge. Colleagues are often uncomfortable providing feedback they perceive as being unkind or critical (vs. constructive), preferring instead to sugar coat their comments to avoid the possibility of hurting your feelings — and potentially your relationship. But kindness doesn’t really help us break through to the next level in our personal development.

One technique for getting more constructive feedback is to phrase the question differently. Whether it be a presentation you are working on, or how you have handled a situation, instead of asking “how was that that?” try asking “what could I have done differently to make it even better?”

This type of question lets them know that regardless of how good (or bad) you are — you are looking to get better. By asking for 1 or 2 specific actions/tips you might use to improve, you are sending a clear indication you want honest feedback. Then when they provide input, receive it as a gracious gift with a thankful attitude.

My Perspective: This approach will significantly increase the chance that you will get actionable input that you can use to improve. Showing a sincere desire to hear honest feedback gives you a tremendous advantage over those less comfortable hearing the truth. When someone provides you with the gift of honest feedback, it provides an opportunity for you to grow to the next level of your leadership development.